Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
