this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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