There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
