I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I will pee on everything he values.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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