Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
