I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
