dude i'm inner monologue high
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
