Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
