Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
