We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
