IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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