your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
wow bdsm is so cute
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
