if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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