were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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