no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
