? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
