Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
My ass is underappreciated
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
