Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
