Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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