Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
