Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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