Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize