Pappa wants mamma naked
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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