he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
