Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
