K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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