She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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