reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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