Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
