I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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