Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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