Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
