Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
i believe in u and ur pee
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
