its not stalking. its research.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
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