And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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