This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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