nut hugger
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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