You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Randomize
