Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Terrible idea I love it
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
