is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
