We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
