Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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