Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
