My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize