You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
i black out too much to be "responsible"
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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