We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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