im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
