my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
