He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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