Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
